July 4, 2010

 

 

Declaration of Grilladelic

 

 

HEN, in the course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve any political, regional or cultural differences, which have separated them, and to assume among them the universal camaraderie of the grill.  Backyard barbecues, family reunions, picnics and tailgate parties all require respect to the opinions of many.  Thus, we declare the common ground that binds us all in a smoky solidarity.

We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all grills are created equal, but hardwood charcoal just makes the food taste better; that you should trust the instant read thermometer, and never exceed 135 degrees with steaks, so they are never overcooked; that briskets, pork butts and ribs require low temperatures, indirect heat, a slow pace, a good dry rub and heavy smoke;

• that supporting your local butchers, farmer’s markets, sausage makers and specialty stores create a more vibrant community
• that all foods, including veggies, pizzas and desserts have unalienable rights and should be welcome on every grill
• that an open fire, family, friends, life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness are the foundations of the great State of Grilladelic–a global community for grilling, barbecuing and tailgating enthusiasts

Parent alert: the Walt Disney Company is now offering refunds for all those “Baby Einstein” videos that did not make children into geniuses.

They may have been a great electronic baby sitter, but the unusual refunds appear to be a tacit admission that they did not increase infant intellect.

When my wife told me about this I said, "This can't be true. It has to be an article from the Onion. When she said it was in the New York Times ... I had to read it.

So people actually thought these videos would turn their kids into geniuses? I'm not against the videos but, get real folks.